To see the short video of the model, click here.

To see the longer version, click here.

Relationship Polarities Model

This shows the first few layers of the relationship polarities model and gives anchors and labels of how we polarize away from each other in the belief that we will find safety while making someone else bad/wrong/different. While this can be depressing and discouraging to understand, I always try and remember that the moment that I recognize myself in all four polarities, it collapses back to the center where I can connect again with you and me.  Here’s the link to the full prezi.

SCARCITY & Abundance

Below is the full model with overlays of Scarcity and Abundance.  It is the poster that was recently presented by Ruth at the Institute for Violence, Abuse, and Trauma conference in Hawaii in March of 2016.


Practicing Returning

When we recognize that we are in fear mind, and reframe our black and white thinking back into the diversity of human feelings, we return our disoriented sense of self to compassion, and are available once again to connect with ourselves and others.

Practicing Remembering

Often this model is posted on the wall or refrigerator near a common spot to stop and contemplate. As one patient put it, “the model is an open thought.” Recognizing and orienting to what we’re feeling leads to understanding where we are. This is when can feel the feelings we have disassociated and call our passionsto return to human connection.